aidsboy86

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 20:34:51 GMT

it was a rough semester, fuck it was a rough year. had to deal with a lot of shit but i still came out smelling like a rose.
this year will be better, i promise i will get my shit together with school and just get back on track in general.

life's good sometimes.

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 23:33:09 GMT

we're all in the same spot.

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 17:06:33 GMT

recently somebody pointed out to me that my livejournal is a rather depressing account of my time in michigan. sorry i was such a bummer, times get tough but you always pull through.

and this girl has got me completely retardedddddddd. stop being so cool cause' i dont know what to do

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 02:07:18 GMT

sometimes, i worry about my health

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 15:38:45 GMT

sometimes, things can fall apart, and other times things seem to fall together. i can go with the flow.

Wed, 10 Jun 2009 06:05:54 GMT

sometimes, i cant believe where i ended up....

Fri, 29 May 2009 22:22:34 GMT

sometimes, i feel like it is me against the world. and if i have to stand by myself for the rest of my life and fight off this constant array of bullshit, i will do it with a smile on my face.... but you are welcome to stop fighting against me, and start fighting with me.

Tue, 26 May 2009 16:25:00 GMT

sometimes, well actually all of the time, i am glad that i do not follow some pointless religious that is full of lies and propaganda.... the dude walked on water? prove it

Thu, 14 May 2009 13:18:23 GMT

sometimes, i feel like i am getting it from every direction. it's like i wake up every day and there is a problem before i even open my eyes. if it isn't school, it's work. if it isn't my mom, its nicole. it just feels like recently i have been gettign it from everyone, and it really wears you down rather quickly. i know i could have it far worse, so i won't complain too much more.... but sometimes you just want to be left the fuck alone for a minute. i need to catch my breath already

Wed, 06 May 2009 13:54:52 GMT

sometimes i get so overwhelms with nicole, and bills, and fucking school, and loans, and interest, that i just might lose it.

Sun, 26 Apr 2009 15:12:37 GMT

sometimes, when the weather is nice like it has been, i drink a lot. lets have sex.

Mon, 20 Apr 2009 16:22:48 GMT

sometimes I get this pain in my stomach's pit, its what I get, I'm convinced its my punishment for those nights I got drunk and let go in some bar in some city with some people I don't know.

Sun, 19 Apr 2009 16:30:36 GMT

sometimes, i feel like without this close group of friends i would be miserable.

Tue, 14 Apr 2009 13:30:22 GMT

sometimes i get so angered by people, that i grow incapable of helping anyone that i care for.

drug addicts are pathetic

Sun, 12 Apr 2009 22:31:19 GMT

sometimes i get so annoyed with the pointless bullshit in life, that i forget its pointless.

Wed, 08 Apr 2009 12:52:11 GMT

sometimes i get so frustrated that i truly don't have it in me to argue.

oh man what's up with me?

Wed, 18 Mar 2009 16:24:20 GMT

i just want you to move close to here, and im worried you won't. or honestly, im worried you will, but most certainly not to be with me... i dunno. also, i havent had sex in a while and it is making me cranky.

Mon, 23 Feb 2009 21:19:08 GMT

i am definitely in a shitty mood so, fair warning, this is going to have some negative overtones.

i am sick of being behind, i definitely need to hustle my way out of this hole i am in, quickly. i enjoy school, as much as i can. i find it pretty interesting, i don't really feel overwhelmed by the work load, and i really don't mind getting up and going there. my main concern is that i simply can't make enough money to make myself comfortable. like, yeah, maybe i am attending a universtiry, but today i was fucking hungry and couldn't eat. you could make the claim that i shouldn't have gone out on the weekend blah blah blah, but thats exactly my point. going to school has turned into, "you won't have enough time to make enough money to enjoy the little free time you have."
2 more years of this bullshit?

give me your money
$?

i dont want to pressure you

Tue, 17 Feb 2009 04:49:43 GMT

but i realllllly hope you move here

Mon, 09 Feb 2009 07:06:52 GMT

i am settling into this school/work/ct life

i still miss saginaw with all my heart
some of the most real people i ever met were from michigan
i just wish i could live 6 months over, there were definitely a lot of fun times

i'd break my neck to set this record straight

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 16:04:12 GMT

i moved back to connecticut in order to "better myself," you know, go to school, get my shit together, that kind of bullshit people talk about.

well i was unaware that my choice to move back was going to be at the expense of my happiness. i can truly say that i have not been this depressed in my entire life, especially since there is no real reason for feeling so down. i feel exactly how i felt before i moved. lonely, miserable, angry, sad, tired, hopeless and completely utterly alone in this world. my friends are the only thing that keep me going, such a stupid hardcore kid things to say. i will never be able to move out of here because i wont be able to afford rent while being a full time student. i still have no idea what i want to do with my life. southern is fucking me around. i am so far away from the one person who allowed me to be myself and feel like that wasn't wrong.

all the weed in the world wont save me.

EDIT (THU JAN 8, 2009):

in general, i find myself having strange mood swings. i really have nothing to be "depressed" about, so in retrospect that term might have been a bit drastic and exaggerated. frustrated, yes. lonely, yeah. unsure, without a doubt.

i know what you're thinking. "woe is me, get over it." and you're fucking right. so i am struggling, so is every person i know, in one way or another. if i want this life to work i have to get out and do something about it.

so in response to myself.... shut the fuck up

2009

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 15:14:10 GMT

getting lonely, trying to fight it off with friends and hangouts.
can't sleep, can't think....

where are you?

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 04:58:55 GMT

wait til' I get my money right,
then you can't tell me nothing, right?

here's to getting my shit back together

millstone

Wed, 10 Dec 2008 17:20:24 GMT

i move in two days. we still fight more than we ever should. maybe its being raised in different parts of the country, and i know it may come off as some bullshit excuse for why we haven't gotten along as well as we hoped, but i don't think it is. from time to time i realize that we have somewhat different values, especially with our families. i mean, i absolutely think that you have stronger family values than i do, which is partially due to my parents failed marriage and, i think, the wealthy east cost community i grew up in where money rules all, and personal happiness is not dependent on the company of others like it is here. just look at our parents, your parents were young and in love. my parents were old, bitter and resented each other my entire life... clearly those conditions will have a drastic change on my personal outlook on relationships and especially the idea of marriage. i think i am getting way ahead of myself. this isn't supposed to really be an explanation of things, rather a truths. i am raising my white flag. i know i have fucked up and done some dumb shit over the months, and i am sorry, but maybe it is time to bury the hatchet, because we only have a couple days left.

man life is fucking crazy

dude

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 19:39:28 GMT

i hate having to quit jobs, it is so frustrating when your boss is so nice that she can't really take the hint that you are quitting. like me saying "i had to move and have no way of getting to the ymca anymore" is a nice way of saying "hey, i am not coming in anymore." although, my boss is so nice that she kind of went out of her way to try and solve this problem rather than taking the hint that i was qutting without a two week notice.

i don't know, that was just annoying me and i felt the need to ramble about it. i really hope the YMCA of Saginaw knows that I will no longer being showing up for work. I suppose it matters none.